Songs We Made Up

by The Matchsellers

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This album was recorded live on a single microphone in Julie's living room in Kansas City, Missouri, in October 2015. Andrew Morris and Julie Bates wrote and performed on all tracks, Julie on her Czech-made Dvorák violin and Andrew on his 1975 Mossman Tennessee Flat Top guitar. We were joined by Matthew Hawkins on 5-string banjo and Chris DeVictor on upright bass on tracks 1, 5, 6, 9, 10 and 11.


released February 12, 2016

Julie Bates - Fiddle, Vocals
Chris DeVictor - Bass
Matthew Hawkins - Banjo
Andrew Morris - Guitar, Vocals

All tracks by Andrew Morris except track 3 by Julie Bates and track 12 by Bates/Morris.
Engineered by Andrew Morris
Mastered by Johnny Kenepaske in Independence, Missouri
Printed by Nuvidea in Overland Park, Kansas
Cover photos by Mathias Kang in San Antonio, Texas
"The Matchsellers" sign made by Casey Jones in Silver Lake, Indiana
Album Art by Julie Bates



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The Matchsellers Kansas City, Missouri

The Matchsellers is the unlikely result of a classically trained violinist from Kansas City, MO, (Julie Bates) and a Chicago blues guitarist from Warsaw, Indiana, (Andrew Morris) meeting in Leipzig, Germany, and forming a bluegrass duo.

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Track Name: Betty Sue
Now hey Betty Sue, what did you do?
You went around talking to who you shouldn’t to, uh huh
Lordy me, lordy my!

Way out west in Colorado
You ran into your cousins Billy and Joe, uh huh
They smoked out all night

Whoa Betty Sue
All I want want want want want want is you
But every time I try to get you to stay
You’re always going going going going going going away

Well you hopped on a bus and plane and train
And you crossed the ocean, you went to Spain, uh huh
Was a long day

Walked around with shaky knees
All the way to the Pyrenees, uh huh
Like a-Hemingway
Track Name: The Riverboat Song
Now Tom F. Bates, he went away
On one very fateful day
But he didn’t fly or hit the road
He rode away on a riverboat

Now the boat was called the Eulenspiegel
No one knew if it was legal
It was made from a bunch of trash
It was cheap and it didn’t go fast

Said goodbye mother and goody bye father
And goodbye sister and goodbye brother
And to his dog he said, adios!
And he went away on a riverboat

He started out from Kansas City
Went down that old Missouri
Switched out to the Mississippi
When he got to St. Louis

When he wanted to get himself clean
He had to take off all his clothing
He was butt-naked but he didn’t mind
He jumped in the river and he had a good time

Now people do ask him, why’d you do it?
Tom F. Bates just smiles a little bit
He says doesn’t it sound like fun to go
Down a crooked river on a riverboat?
Track Name: Dirt and Beard Hair
All day at the office makes a body grow weak
I've gotta dress up all fancy, be polite when I speak
I wanna kick off my shoes, grow my beard long
Take fewer showers and sing this song

Oh find me a place where guitars strum all night
Where strangers share drugs in the firelight
Where the bands play a show in the woods somewhere
And the whiskey smells like dirt and beard hair

Well I've filled up my cooler with string cheese and beer
Got my bag chair and my flip flops 'cause it's that time of year
I'm gonna cram all my friends in the old pickup truck
And we'll all hit the road heading for you know what
Track Name: Back Back Back Back
Every time I look at you
I fall down to my knees and ask the lord please,
Why oh why oh why did you do this to me?

Every time I think of you
I get water in my eyes, try not to cry
Somebody kill me or at least tell me why!

I’m going back, back, back, back
Back back back back back back back back back back

Every time I taste that taste
Of old strawberry ice cream, I begin to dream
‘Bout the time we smooched while eatin’ ice cream

Every time I smell your soap
Well, I get to feeling mean, I kick and punch and scream
Don’t throw me back into that dang time machine!
Track Name: Mentone Egg Queen
I was standing out on old Bourbon Street
Smoking my sister’s cigarettes and listening to sneakered feet
When I saw her on the other sidewalk
Wearing a golden jacket and makeup caked like chalk

Green hair, eyes blonde
My mama says you’re all backwards, but I know that’s wrong!
‘Cause you’re the cutest thing this boy’s ever seen
You must’ve been the Mentone Egg Queen

You went into The Bulldog and you got yourself a beer
And all the men sitting in there looked at you mighty queer
Someone took a hit of crack, sat down next to you
You punched his nuts, he fell to his knees and sneezed A-CHOO!
Track Name: Tootin' My Own Kazoo
Help me in my weakness
Help me in my pain
I'm so far from home
I forgot my name

The houses there are plenty
The nickels there are few
The day I walked away
I was tootin’ my own kazoo

Wicked is the world
Oh whoa is me
I want to hold my lover
But I went across the sea

The houses there are plenty
The nickels there are few
The day I walked away
I was tootin’ my own kazoo
Track Name: Wake Up Sally
Wake up Sally, wake up Sue
Wake up Johnny I'm in love with you
Oh tell me what to do

I see you running, I hold my breath
If I can't get you what kind of life is left
Oh you know what to do

Get the phone and call the courthouse clerk
Come on babe, now's not the time for work

The time is now, the day is right
Come on Johnny run away with my tonight
Oh you know what to do

I'd drink with Jesus, I'd say a prayer
If I could wake up with you right there
Oh you know what to do
Track Name: Sometimes You Win
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose
Sometimes you have to play when you don’t want to
Sometimes you’re right, sometimes you’re wrong
Sometimes you just get taken along

Hey there ma, hey there pa
Looks like I must’ve done something wrong
They put a bag on my head, covered my face
And they haven’t let me sleep in the last five days
They got me chained up against the wall
Punched me in the face and nearly broke my jaw

Remember my old friend Charlie, that psychopath kid
Who tried to bomb the school with that old science kit?
Apparently he’s the reason I’m stuck in here now
I haven’t seen him in years and wouldn’t even know how
But he said my name when they got him in Spain
So they busted down my door, hauled my ass away
Track Name: The Lights I Wanted
Well it’s cold as it’s ever been in San Antonio
Even the trees, they got frostbite
I’m alone freezing to my bones
And I see those lights

But they ain’t the lights I wanted
They don’t have the right glow
And they ain’t getting dimmer
As I go on down the road

And it’s dark as it’s ever been in San Antonio
Can’t see the stars in the sky
I’m alone 1000 miles from home
And I see those lights
Track Name: Look at Me
Look at me and I’ll look at you
Look at all the little things that we do
Look on your cellphone look on the screen
Everybody look at me

Look at the crabgrass look at the fence
Look at a dime, look at ten pence
Look at the barbed wire, it’s twisty
Everybody look at me

Look at the shack, look at the shed
Look at aluminum foil instead
Look at the fire, now at a tree
Everybody look at me

Look real fast and then real slow
Look at all the little things that you know
Look at the hair that’s down on your feet
Everybody look at me

Look to the left and then look up
Look at the bug inside of your cup
Look real sad and now happy
Everybody look at me

Look at your car’s rearview mirror
Objects are closer than they appear
Look at the Chapstick you bought last week
Everybody look at me

Look at the glue inside of a book
Look at the pictures we coulda took
Be sure to look before you pee
Everybody look at me
Track Name: I Asked You to Leave (But You Ate All My Crackers)
Well I asked you to leave
But you ate all my crackers
Along with my fancy Swiss cheese

When the morning came you were all gone
And you stole my poor heart from me

Well you took my favorite socks
And my remote control
You hauled off the big screen TV

When the morning came you were all gone
And you stole my poor heart from me
Track Name: Dandelions and Dust
The dandelions and dust are a- floating through the air
I’m all alone, you don’t even care
So I’m gone, oh mama I’m gone

You’re coming down the stair in your flip-flop-dee-floobies
I’m walking out the door singing shoo-be-doo-be
‘Cause I’m gone, oh mama I’m gone

Yodel-a-hee, yodel-a-hee
Yodel-a-hee, yodel-a-hee

I’m taking your spaghetti sauce and throwing it on the floor
I’m gonna skateboard right through it, break the lightswitch at your door
And be gone, oh mama I’m gone

I’ll put a firecracker underneath your pillowcase
Stick a bottle rocket up your butt, a roman candle in your face
And be gone, oh baby I’m gone

Yodel-a-hee, yodel-a-hee
Yodel-a-hee, yodel-a-hee

Well I know you hate me like a dentist hate pop
Like a toe hates a jam, like a nose hates snot
Like dandelions and dust hate getting caught
When they’re floating through the air up by some treetop
So I’m gone, oh baby I’m gone